Interpersonal conflict is an undeniable fact of life. It deals with the insensible part of humans very often - feelings and emotions. Hence when not dealt with delicately or tactfully, it can have devastating consequences to a relationship. However, with appropriate methods, it may very well lead to productivity, greater understanding and more tolerance in the future.
Here goes a scenario where all areas of communication broke down.. Personally, I believe that it has got a very simple solution. However, please investigate further
Anne and Bonnie have been good friends since the junior college days. They were from the same class, took the same modules, were in the same extra-curricular activity and had the same part time jobs. They got along well, just as people who are constantly together should. However, the innocent bond of friend took a turn for the worse when things started to get competitive.
Anne and Bonnie both had excellent grades. They were co-captains in their extra-curricular activity. They were both accepted into the Life Science course in NUS. Following their graduation, they were both accepted into a highly prestigious research company. Through the years, there was an unspoken animosity, competitiveness and sometimes even jealousy, that grew between them. It was almost too hard to even be talking to each other anymore.
In the company, Anne and Bonnie both had their niches and were both the leading researcher in their respective areas of work. For the first time in their lives, they did not have their paths crossed (which both thought was more a blessing than anything else).
One day, a team member of Bonnie's research team approached Anne for some assistance without Bonnie's consent. The assistance required Anne to be involved in Bonnie's work and may take up a small portion of the team's research funding. Anne decided to hold an informal meeting to discuss with the relevant team members about the issue. She has not decided to help out and would have informed the Bonnie to seek her approval after the meeting. However, word got around that Anne was holding a meeting with Bonnie's team members and Anne ultimately heard of it.
During the meeting, Bonnie stormed angrily into the room midway and accused Anne of trying to steal her job and to plot against her. All the years of frustration and anger welled up and erupted there and then.
How should Anne react to this situation? And do you think that Bonnie could have handled the situation in another way?
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Why effective communication is important for me
"No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the comtinent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea." - John Donne
Indeed, no man is an island. I personally equate the earth as a snow globe, where everything interacts and interconnects with everything else, one way or another; through dust, air, water, electricity and what not. Thereby it is unavoidable that communication is required so that life gets by.
It can be communicating with your family at home, with friends at school, with friends who are overseas, with your lecturers or even with strangers. Effective communication skills are always required on your part both as a listener or a speaker. As a speaker, you face the problem of finding the appropriate or exact vacoabularies to send the original idea and message to your listener. And while the verbal communication part is going on, you have to watch your nonverbal cues so that these two do not contradict each other. On the other hand, when you become the listener, you face the problem of understanding and interpreting the speaker's message accurately. For in too many a case, the process of interpreting can be clouded and distended by the physical environment of which the communication took place, or by one's own emotions and feelings about the subject (and also towards the speaker), or simply by a language barrier.
In the recent semester break, I have personally encountered a major communication skills test in play. Here goes: As an aspiring veterinary medicine student, I took up an internship position in a veterinary hospital in Germany. For those who may not already know, the national language in Germany is german, and Germans are not exactly known to be the best english speakers around. The problem comes when I am not exactly the best german speaker either. So 10 hours a day, I had to struggle with the language barrier because as much as both parties try, we might not always have the original intended message sent across. There was this one time when a dog was brought into the emergency ward after meeting with a car accident. Its breath was very thready and I attempted to pump air into its lungs. At the same time, a doctor wanted to listen to the dog's heartbeat using a stethoscope so she said, "You do not have to do that.". I interpreted that sentence as "You do not need to do that. It is not necessary. However, you can still do it if you want." So I decided to go for the latter just to make sure it continued breathing. However, a moment later, the doctor shouted, "I SAID YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THAT!". "I was taken aback and stood there for a moment, with my hands still mechanically pumping the air. The other doctor then told me that she actually wanted me to stop doing it that instant.
This may appear to be a rather small communication breakdown, but nevertheless it is still one. It reminded me of how precious and important effective communication skills are. Also, I am a third year life sciences student. This also mean that there are more laboratory sessions, more group report discussions. Anyone who have made it as far as third year in university will know that in a group work, everything will go wrong unless very much care is taken into making sure that communication is done properly. As I look into the future, I know that with my field of studies, it will never be a one-man-act. For research is all about collaboration with people specialising in different fields, seeking cooperation with all departments whom you will need (such as the technical team, the cleaners, the laboratory workers, the students, the secretary) and not to mention, playing a team game to hasten project paces to cut costs.
Therefore, I feel that it is an extra advantage that I can learn something which everyone already know but mostly are not really good at.
Indeed, no man is an island. I personally equate the earth as a snow globe, where everything interacts and interconnects with everything else, one way or another; through dust, air, water, electricity and what not. Thereby it is unavoidable that communication is required so that life gets by.
It can be communicating with your family at home, with friends at school, with friends who are overseas, with your lecturers or even with strangers. Effective communication skills are always required on your part both as a listener or a speaker. As a speaker, you face the problem of finding the appropriate or exact vacoabularies to send the original idea and message to your listener. And while the verbal communication part is going on, you have to watch your nonverbal cues so that these two do not contradict each other. On the other hand, when you become the listener, you face the problem of understanding and interpreting the speaker's message accurately. For in too many a case, the process of interpreting can be clouded and distended by the physical environment of which the communication took place, or by one's own emotions and feelings about the subject (and also towards the speaker), or simply by a language barrier.
In the recent semester break, I have personally encountered a major communication skills test in play. Here goes: As an aspiring veterinary medicine student, I took up an internship position in a veterinary hospital in Germany. For those who may not already know, the national language in Germany is german, and Germans are not exactly known to be the best english speakers around. The problem comes when I am not exactly the best german speaker either. So 10 hours a day, I had to struggle with the language barrier because as much as both parties try, we might not always have the original intended message sent across. There was this one time when a dog was brought into the emergency ward after meeting with a car accident. Its breath was very thready and I attempted to pump air into its lungs. At the same time, a doctor wanted to listen to the dog's heartbeat using a stethoscope so she said, "You do not have to do that.". I interpreted that sentence as "You do not need to do that. It is not necessary. However, you can still do it if you want." So I decided to go for the latter just to make sure it continued breathing. However, a moment later, the doctor shouted, "I SAID YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THAT!". "I was taken aback and stood there for a moment, with my hands still mechanically pumping the air. The other doctor then told me that she actually wanted me to stop doing it that instant.
This may appear to be a rather small communication breakdown, but nevertheless it is still one. It reminded me of how precious and important effective communication skills are. Also, I am a third year life sciences student. This also mean that there are more laboratory sessions, more group report discussions. Anyone who have made it as far as third year in university will know that in a group work, everything will go wrong unless very much care is taken into making sure that communication is done properly. As I look into the future, I know that with my field of studies, it will never be a one-man-act. For research is all about collaboration with people specialising in different fields, seeking cooperation with all departments whom you will need (such as the technical team, the cleaners, the laboratory workers, the students, the secretary) and not to mention, playing a team game to hasten project paces to cut costs.
Therefore, I feel that it is an extra advantage that I can learn something which everyone already know but mostly are not really good at.
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